About 15 years ago I was with a group of kids in New Orleans helping with the clean-up effort in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Much of what we did and experienced in that week was life changing in so many ways and on so many levels. It was a week full of difficult work, but it left a profound mark on all of the members of the group I was with.

Having said that, though, there was an incident which occurred that I still have difficulty finding a mental compartment for. Let me explain.

One day, after our work was done and everyone had cleaned up, our group headed into the main meeting hall for dinner. We were having tacos that night and, because of the hard work that we did that day, we were all very hungry … and excited. I mean, c’mon, it’s tacos!

There were other groups there as well, so I can only assume that they were as hungry as we were. As we waited, you could easily sense that everyone’s hunger was growing by the way that we all were speaking about the tacos. As they brought out the food, though, we discovered that we would have to wait a moment because our group was at the back of the line.

Gradually, as those before us got their food, we made our way to the table to get our dinner. I was at the rear of our group to allow the kids to get their food first. As the last of our kids and I were approaching the table, I noticed that there wasn’t much beef left for the tacos. Inching closer to the now nearly empty pan of beef, I quickly estimated that there should be enough beef so that all of the kids would get at least one.

However, that reality was upended when one of the adults ahead of us that was from another group (who had three taco shells on his plate, mind you) emptied all of the remaining beef into his empty shells. Completely lost in conversation, he laughed and joked with another adult ahead of him as he filled his plate and went to his group’s table to sit down. The two remaining kids looked at me and I did my best to encourage them to be forgiving of the man and grateful for the food that they did get.

But, inside I was steaming.

This adult was overseeing a group of kids that were in New Orleans to help the people whose lives were ravaged by the hurricane. His very point of being there was to serve. So, one would assume that all manner of selfishness would have been checked at the door. Yet, even in a room that bore the stains from the hurricane’s floodwaters on the walls, this man couldn’t be selfless enough to just take enough beef for one taco … he had to empty the pan.

I’m getting angry just writing this.

Thinking about others seems like an archaic idea. Our society is steeped in the idea that we, as individuals, are what’s most important. I just watched a commercial the other day where a man looked at the camera and said, “I should have the service that I want, because I deserve it.” We have become, generally speaking, an egocentric culture.

Now, I have to pause for a moment, because I don’t believe that the average person inherently dislikes their fellow man/woman. If you were to ask, I’m sure there will be those that will recall incidents or experiences where others angered them or did something that directly impacted them negatively. But I think the majority of us still care for people. I mean, if we walked by a flipped-over car, or came across someone that had been shot, I would have a hard time thinking of anyone that wouldn’t immediately help. I think, by our very design, we are hardwired to help and to care.

However, like the man I just mentioned, our egocentricity frequently blocks our benevolence. Our eyes are so focused inward that seeing and caring for others is nearly impossible at times. We have become a nation whose citizens have abandoned the greater good in exchange for the promotion of self. Our ‘selves’ have become what matters most.

Existing in that place, though – as both the ego-centric individual and the person who is impacted by the ego-centric person’s behaviors – is naturally going to create tension. Having a large nation like ours made up of millions of individuals only focused on themselves is like having a million little nations trying to co-exist but simultaneously vying for their own interests. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that this just doesn’t work.

What does work, though, is striking a balance between others and ourselves. When we elevate others to be just as important as we are, something amazing happens. Instead of tension and conflict, care that’s given from an altruistic heart fosters harmony. And this harmony isn’t just between the giver and the receiver. It also fosters harmony within ourselves.

To reach this, though, there needs to be a change to our perspectives. Using taco-meat-guy as an example. He should have been aware that there were 50-60 people in the room that had also worked a long day and who were equally as hungry as he was. And, because of this, his perspective should have been that I am no more important than the next guy, so I should only take one taco until I know that everyone has had one. Sounds simple enough, right?

The problem is our societal rewiring makes this incredibly difficult. We’ve been conditioned to think that the epicenter of the world is wherever we happen to be. So, distancing ourselves from this perspective takes honesty, intention and resolve. This is due, in large part, to the fact that we literally have decrease our perceived importance and elevate the importance of others around us. This lies fundamentally perpendicular to our current mindset, so changing this takes a lot of work.

But, difficult or not, this is where true harmony exists.

There is far more that I could say. But, for the sake of time and relevance, I just want to end with a challenge. This week let’s begin by simply assessing how we view ourselves. Do we function under the current ideology that we are most important? Do we act in a way that serves us first and others second? How are we, as individuals, standing in the way of us seeing and caring for others? How can we begin to alter our perception so that others are just as important as ourselves?

As we wrestle with these questions, may we find clarity. And may this clarity be the spark that ignites a change that not only leads us to elevating others, but also to finding a newfound sense of harmony within ourselves.